First of all, I'd like to apologize to all the members of PETA, and all of my vegetarian comrades out there in the world who will surely think that I am, at best, a hypocrite... and maybe even a bitch. But let me say, I have been a faithful vegetarian since I was 7 years old and watched the movie Babe. That movie made me feel so guilty and horrible about myself, that I teared up the next day at school looking at the ham sandwich my mom had packed me. I think it fair to disclose to you that I am a Pescetarian , meaning I eat seafood, and everything below it-- eggs, milk, cheese, all of it. No beef, pork, chicken, or anything else like this in my system since I was 7. Not even when I'm drunk.
Flash forward 16 years, and I find myself 23 years old, and married to the world's biggest carnivore. Don't ask me how this happened, because I don't know. The man loves all meat products. In fact, last night in bed, he disclosed to me that he's eaten a lot of squirrels. And frogs. WTF? It's a very strange situation I'm finding myself in... Mark and I have been together since we were in high school, so I've always known he ate meat and had no intentions of coming over to my side of things...ever. When we discussed marriage and who would do the cooking, he always kind of implied that he'd just cook meat if he wanted it. Well, it turns out that isn't true. He doesn't know how to cook anything. At all. No, really. He burns bagels.
When we first got married in July of 2011, he was shipped off to Afghanistan the day after we got back from our honeymoon. I spent that 6 months he was gone getting my drink on, feeling sorry for myself, and finishing my Masters degree. When he got back in January, I was so excited to see him that I wanted to do everything right-- make his favorite dessert (banana pudding), make his favorite foods... oh shit. I don't know how to make his favorite foods, because I've never ever made them for myself or anyone else.
So, join me on my journey to scour the internet, peruse my cookbooks, and call my mother a thousand times in my quest to make my husband quit his bitching and not die of malnutrition on a diet of solely burned bagels. Watch with wonder and amazement as I judge with my eyes and not my tastebuds that I'm not going to kill my husband from inproper meat handling.
Hope you enjoy!
